Wednesday 4 August 2010

how to manage anger successfully in family life, at work, and in the community.

It's important that parents know how to manage anger successfully in family life, at work, and in the community. And that same knowledge needs to be shared with children, so that they learn this important skill.[49] It’s more of a stress management technique and will help you use self-control and not blow a fuse when you’re mad. [50] He told me all the secrets on how to manage anger effectively and naturally. It have been 5 years since the last time I threw my top.[51]

[49] http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/svp-0013/svp-0013ch5.asp
[50] http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2007/354_oct10/thisweek/071010_anger.shtml
[51] http://www.controlangersecrets.com/


Exercise will make the whole family dynamic improve; it is one of the most viable ways to bring about anger management for teenagers. [52] The goal of our Choice-Based Anger Control program is to assist you in increasing awareness of your menu of response options available to you to manage your anger and to take greater responsibility and accountability for your anger. [53] Anger Management for Teens-54 minute downloadable audio book CD and workbook with bonus parents instructional and supportive 50 minute audio book CD and workbook. [54]

[52] http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com/anger-management-for-teenagers.html
[53] http://www.angermanagementofga.com/anger_management.html
[54] http://www.marriagecounseling4u.com/madteens


Temperamental risk for anger management problems goes along with ADHD. At risk kids with oppositional defiantt disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD) also have anger issues.[55] We hope this information on Anger Management for Teens has been of help to you. [56] All of the anger management options listed above has negative or self- destructive results involved while the anger itself is seldom completely released. What many need to find are options that end in a positive manner.[57]

[55] http://www.parentingtheatriskchild.com/anger.html
[56] http://www.anger-management-action.com/anger-management-for-teens.html
[57] http://www.essortment.com/all/angermanagement_rfsx.htm

Monday 2 August 2010

How to deal with children expressing anger

How to deal with children expressing anger




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Anger is a healthy emotion. It signals to a person that something is wrong and that action needs to be taken. Anger can be a motivating force to help people get their needs met. But, anger can also go awry. Depending on how it is expressed (or if it fails to be expressed), anger can be a healthy feeling that helps people move along in the growth process or a destructive force that causes major problems for a person.

When children express their anger, it can be a little scary for parents. When your two year old discovers the power of the word “no” and learns how to protest, perhaps even to the point of having a full-blown, down on the floor, kicking and screaming temper tantrum, it can be a little confusing as to how to deal with that anger.

When a child gets angry, it is a good idea to be empathic. Express to the child that you understand that he is feeling upset and perhaps even hurt. Often, if a full-blown tantrum has not yet erupted, being empathic can defuse the anger because the child feels understood, accepted and comforted. Denying the anger or telling the child that there is no reason to be angry will only make things worse. The child is likely to continue protesting and getting more worked up, trying his best to be heard and understood. Hearing and understanding him can help calm his distress.

Some kids are more sensitive to disappointment or hurt feelings, which then develop into anger. Being empathic may do nothing to help with the intensity of your child’s anger. In this case, ground rules have to be set up. You must make it clear to the child that it is ok to be upset, and it is even ok to tantrum, but it is not ok to break things in the house or hurt other people. You should allow kids to get angry but also should expect them to be able to control their anger so that it does not become damaging. This lesson will sometimes need to be taught through experience and consequence, meaning that if a child breaks something in the heat of anger, it must be worked out that she will either fix it or pay in some way to have it repaired or replaced, either through doing chores or forfeiting allowance. This teaches children to be responsible for their own actions and to experience the consequences of these actions. If she hurts another person, she should be encouraged to ask the person what she can do to make it better.

Anger in one’s children can be off-putting. A parent may be intimately familiar with anger, either experiencing difficulty controlling one’s own anger or having experiences with one’s own parent having anger issues. Or perhaps, a parent may have had the experience as children of never being allowed to express his or her anger, causing the anger to go underground and be buried. Having difficulty, as parents, of healthily expressing our anger leads us to have problems helping our kids healthily express theirs.

Typically, with consistency, support and clear behavioral expectations, children will learn how to cope with and healthily express their anger. If these things don’t have an effect, it may be necessary to seek professional help.



http://www.helium.com/items/1837675-dealing-with-childrens-anger

How to deal with children expressing anger


How to deal with children expressing anger


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LETTING THE ANGRIES OUT TO PLAY


Our inexperience in dealing with anger can also trigger other crippling emotions that undermine how adequate we feel as a parent. "Often parents and children get locked into a contest of wills, and the parent wins with a "Because I Said So" argument. Afterward, they doubt themselves as parents and feel guilty, ashamed, and inept. Many of us were taught as children that we were not allowed to be angry, that being angry was bad, or that it was our fault.

read more here


Anger is a hot topic at the moment. Results of recent studies have found anger to be a deterrent for physical healing - more research confirming that mind body relationships matter; and according to Dr John Rifkin, author of The Healing Power of Anger, unresolved or unrecognized anger can set the stage for all manner of diseases, including depression, heart disease, arthritisand some forms of cancer.

Trying to suppress anger won't help either, Research at the University of Ohio, Columbus, recently found that both anger in' and anger out', that is, not only people who outwardly rage, but people who tried to control, hide or re-press anger by holding it in, also demonstrate negative responses to the healing process.

The same group who registered high on the anger scale, in these studies, also showed a higher secretion of stress hormone cortisol, which, earlier studies showed, had a direct relationship with anger, and revealed a link between coronary heart disease, hypertension and stroke: indicating that sitting on our anger is not recommended.


read more


http://www.helium.com/items/978656-how-to-deal-with-children-expressing-anger

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Help with Anger Management and relax your kids

Help with Anger Management


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Primary School resources for Key Stage 1 (KS1) Literacy Hour, PHSE/SEAL and Circle Time.
£69.95 £64.99




Relax Your Child CDs for all ages

Children can get angry for a number of reasons including conflict over possessions, security issues, rejection, teasing and taunting, bullying, being asked to do things they don't want to do. Many also feel that the rise of violence on the TV, media and games is adding to children's aggressive behaviour.

Symptoms of anger:

fast breathing • blood flow to the face • muscles tense and skin feel tight • grinding of teeth • ringing in the ears • higher blood pressure • chest pains • excessive sweating • headaches

Children must learn that feelings of anger are normal, acceptable and experienced by everyone. They do however need to learn how to manage their anger and practice exercises to reduce and dissipate the emotion. They need to learn to express it and channel it in a positive way.

It is important that children are given an outlet to talk about their feelings of anger in an open and honest way where they know they will be listened to.

Teaching relaxation techniques to children can help them manage their anger outbursts and tantrums. Relax Kids have created CDs to help children manage their anger.

Helping Young Children Deal with Anger Management

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Helping Young Children Deal with Anger

by Marian Marion, PhD

Children's anger presents challenges to teachers committed to constructive, ethical, and effective child guidance. This Digest explores what we know about the components of children's anger, factors contributing to understanding and managing anger, and the ways teachers can guide children's expressions of anger.

Three Components of Anger

Anger is believed to have three components (Lewis & Michalson, 1983):

The Emotional State of Anger. The first component is the emotion itself, defined as an affective or arousal state, or a feeling experienced when a goal is blocked or needs are frustrated. Fabes and Eisenberg (1992) describe several types of stress-producing anger provocations that young children face daily in classroom interactions:

Conflict over possessions, which involves someone taking children's property or invading their space.

Physical assault, which involves one child doing something to another child, such as pushing or hitting.

Verbal conflict, for example, a tease or a taunt.

Rejection, which involves a child being ignored or not allowed to play with peers.

Issues of compliance, which often involve asking or insisting that children do something that they do not want to do--for instance, wash their hands.
Expression of Anger. The second component of anger is its expression. Some children vent or express anger through facial expressions, crying, sulking, or talking, but do little to try to solve a problem or confront the provocateur. Others actively resist by physically or verbally defending their positions, self-esteem, or possessions in nonaggressive ways. Still other children express anger with aggressive revenge by physically or verbally retaliating against the provocateur. Some children express dislike by telling the offender that he or she cannot play or is not liked. Other children express anger through avoidance or attempts to escape from or evade the provocateur. And some children use adult seeking, looking for comfort or solutions from a teacher, or telling the teacher about an incident.

Teachers can use child guidance strategies to help children express angry feelings in socially constructive ways. Children develop ideas about how to express emotions (Michalson & Lewis, 1985; Russel, 1989) primarily through social interaction in their families and later by watching television or movies, playing video games, and reading books (Honig & Wittmer, 1992). Some children have learned a negative, aggressive approach to expressing anger (Cummings, 1987; Hennessy et al., 1994) and, when confronted with everyday anger conflicts, resort to using aggression in the classroom (Huesmann, 1988). A major challenge for early childhood teachers is to encourage children to acknowledge angry feelings and to help them learn to express anger in positive and effective ways.

An Understanding of Anger. The third component of the anger experience is understanding--interpreting and evaluating--the emotion. Because the ability to regulate the expression of anger is linked to an understanding of the emotion (Zeman & Shipman, 1996), and because children's ability to reflect on their anger is somewhat limited, children need guidance from teachers and parents in understanding and managing their feelings of anger.

Understanding and Managing Anger

The development of basic cognitive processes undergirds children's gradual development of the understanding of anger (Lewis & Saarni, 1985).

Memory. Memory improves substantially during early childhood (Perlmutter, 1986), enabling young children to better remember aspects of anger-arousing interactions. Children who have developed unhelpful ideas of how to express anger (Miller & Sperry, 1987) may retrieve the early unhelpful strategy even after teachers help them gain a more helpful perspective. This finding implies that teachers may have to remind some children, sometimes more than once or twice, about the less aggressive ways of expressing anger.

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Language. Talking about emotions helps young children understand their feelings (Brown & Dunn, 1996). The understanding of emotion in preschool children is predicted by overall language ability (Denham, Zoller, & Couchoud, 1994). Teachers can expect individual differences in the ability to identify and label angry feelings because children's families model a variety of approaches in talking about emotions.

Self-Referential and Self-Regulatory Behaviors.Self-referential behaviors include viewing the self as separate from others and as an active, independent, causal agent. Self-regulation refers to controlling impulses, tolerating frustration, and postponing immediate gratification. Initial self-regulation in young children provides a base for early childhood teachers who can develop strategies to nurture children's emerging ability to regulate the expression of anger.

Guiding Children's Expressions of Anger

Teachers can help children deal with anger by guiding their understanding and management of this emotion. The practices described here can help children understand and manage angry feelings in a direct and nonaggressive way.

Create a Safe Emotional Climate. A healthy early childhood setting permits children to acknowledge all feelings, pleasant and unpleasant, and does not shame anger. Healthy classroom systems have clear, firm, and flexible boundaries.

Model Responsible Anger Management. Children have an impaired ability to understand emotion when adults show a lot of anger (Denham, Zoller, & Couchoud, 1994). Adults who are most effective in helping children manage anger model responsible management by acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for their own angry feelings and by expressing anger in direct and nonaggressive ways.

Help Children Develop Self-Regulatory Skills. Teachers of infants and toddlers do a lot of self-regulation "work," realizing that the children in their care have a very limited ability to regulate their own emotions. As children get older, adults can gradually transfer control of the self to children, so that they can develop self-regulatory skills.

Encourage Children to Label Feelings of Anger. Teachers and parents can help young children produce a label for their anger by teaching them that they are having a feeling and that they can use a word to describe their angry feeling. A permanent record (a book or chart) can be made of lists of labels for anger (e.g., mad, irritated, annoyed), and the class can refer to it when discussing angry feelings.

Encourage Children to Talk About Anger-Arousing Interactions. Preschool children better understand anger and other emotions when adults explain emotions (Denham, Zoller, &Couchoud, 1994). When children are embroiled in an anger-arousing interaction, teachers can help by listening without judging,evaluating, or ordering them to feel differently.

Use Books and Stories about Anger to Help Children Understand and Manage Anger. Well-presented stories about anger and other emotions validate children's feelings and give information about anger (Jalongo, 1986; Marion, 1995). It is important to preview all books about anger because some stories teach irresponsible anger management.

Communicate with Parents. Some of the same strategies employed to talk with parents about other areas of the curriculum can be used to enlist their assistance in helping children learn to express emotions. For example, articles about learning to use words to label anger can be included in a newsletter to parents.

Children guided toward responsible anger management are more likely to understand and manage angry feelings directly and non aggressively and to avoid the stress often accompanying poor anger management (Eisenberg et al., 1991). Teachers can take some of the bumps out of understanding and managing anger by adopting positive guidance strategies.

Condensed by permission from Marian Marion, "Guiding Young Children's Understanding and Management of Anger," Young Children 52(7), 62-67. Copyright 1997 by the National Association for the Education of Young Children.

Marian Marion, PhD, is Professor of Early Childhood Education at Governors State University, University Park, Illinois.

References

Brown, J. R., & Dunn, J. (1996). Continuities in emotion understanding from three to six years. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 67(3), 789-803. EJ 528 209.

Cummings, E. (1987). Coping with background anger in early childhood. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 58(4), 976-984. EJ 359 847.

Denham, S. A., Zoller, D., & Couchoud, E. A. (1994). Socialization of preschoolers' emotion understanding. DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY, 30(6), 928-937. EJ 498 090.

Eisenberg, N., Fabes, R., Schaller, M., Carlo, G., & Miller, P. (1991). The relations of parental characteristics and practices to children's vicarious emotional responding. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 62(6), 1393-1408. EJ 439 967.

Fabes, R. A., & Eisenberg, N. (1992). Young children's coping with interpersonal anger. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 63(1), 116-128. EJ 439 998.

Hennessy, K. D., Rabideau, G. J., Cicchetti, D., & Cummings, E. M. (1994). Responses of physically abused and nonabused children to different forms of inter-adult anger. CHILD DEVELOPMENT, 65(3), 815-828.

Honig, A., & Wittmer, D. (1992). PROSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT IN CHILDREN: CARING, SHARING, AND COOPERATION: A BIBLIOGRAPHIC RESOURCE GUIDE. New York: Garland.

Huesmann, L. (1988). An information processing model for the development of aggression. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, 14(1), 13-24.

Jalongo, M. (1986). Using crisis-oriented books with young children. In J. B. McCracken (Ed.), REDUCING STRESS IN YOUNG CHILDREN'S LIVES (pp. 41-46). Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Lewis, M., & Michalson, L. (1983). CHILDREN'S EMOTIONS AND MOODS. New York: Plenum.

Lewis, M., & Saarni, C. (1985). Culture and emotions. In M. Lewis & C. Saarni (Eds.), THE SOCIALIZATION OF EMOTIONS (pp. 1-17). New York: Plenum.

Marion, M. (1995). GUIDANCE OF YOUNG CHILDREN. Columbus, OH: Merrill.

Michalson, L., & Lewis, M. (1985). What do children know about emotions and when do they know it? In M. Lewis & C. Saarni (Eds.), THE SOCIALIZATION OF EMOTIONS (pp. 117-139). New York: Plenum.

Miller, P., & Sperry, L. (1987). The socialization of anger and aggression. MERRILL-PALMER QUARTERLY, 33(1), 1-31. EJ 351 314.

Perlmutter, M. (1986). A life-span view of memory. In P. B. Baltes, D. L. Featherman, & R. M. Learner, LIFE-SPAN DEVELOPMENT AND BEHAVIOR (Vol. 7). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Russel, J. A. (1989). Culture, scripts, and children's understanding of emotion. In C. Saarni & P. L. Harris (Eds.), CHILDREN'S UNDERSTANDING OF EMOTION (pp. 293-318). Cambridge, England, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Zeman, J., & Shipman, K. (1996). Children's expression of negative affect: Reasons and methods. DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY, 32(5), 842-850. EJ 534 557.

This publication was funded by the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education, under contract no. RR93002007. The opinions expressed in this report do not necessarily reflect the positions or policies of OERI.

Sunday 6 June 2010

Model Behavior, Aggressive Behavior and Passive-Aggressive Behavior

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e how

do not get angry so how is the strategy for parents





Anger is a natural emotion. Kids express emotions differently. Some children may become overtly aggressive. Other children may express their anger in more subtle ways. Remember that angry kids are likely using their angry displays and tantrums as a mechanism of solving dilemmas. Do not let your child use anger to control what happens in the household. It can be difficult, but strike a balance between allowing children to experience their emotions, without letting behavior get out of control.




Passive-Aggressive Behavior



Some children may have a harder time expressing emotions and bottle their anger, according to "Psychology Today" magazine expert on passive-aggressive behavior, Singe Whitson, L.S.W. Kids who use passive-aggressive behavior to display their emotions may give parents the silent treatment, smile sarcastically when they are upset and deflect or stop conversations about things they are angry about altogether with phrases like "whatever" or "everything's fine." According to Whitson, an important part of stopping this behavior is encouraging kids to get angry. But try not to overreact once a passive-aggressive kid finally does become angry. Instead, teach children the difference between assertively and respectfully standing up for themselves and letting their anger affect their behavior negatively.


Aggressive Behavior


Remember there is a difference between a young child throwing a fit and an older child acting out. Toddlers are still in the phase of learning how to control their emotions, according to "Selfhelp" magazine expert James Lehman, M.S.W. Aggressive behaviors are a problem when older children are throwing things, kicking things, yelling and generally using their anger to try to control their parents. They use anger as a scare tactic that temporarily solves their problems. But if kids with anger problems do not learn to curb their aggression, they will likely have a hard time functioning in the adult world, according to Lehman.


Model Behavior


When kids passive-aggressively respond to discipline, do not respond by blowing up, even though this is probably the reaction they want. Also, do not react by doing something passive-aggressive in return, like not offering them something you know they want, withholding affection or shutting them down in conversation. According to "Psychology Today" expert Whitson, this only ensures the problem will continue in the future.


Be Proactive

Remember always that it is the job of the parents to teach their children to deal with their problems. Parenting is supposed to prepare children for the adult world. Do not ignore the problem by using excuses like "that's just how my kid is." Kids who cannot deal with their anger without violent or abusive behaviors will likely wind up acting out violently as adults, according to "Selfhelp" expert Lehman. On the other hand, kids who cannot stand up for themselves directly may wind up smiling and nodding away their anger at the workplace, in marriage and with their own children.

Wednesday 2 June 2010

Tools to Tame a Temper or Anger


aource

No matter what pushes your buttons, one thing is certain — you're sure to get angry sometimes. Everyone does. Anger is a normal emotion, and there's nothing wrong with feeling mad. What counts is how we handle it (and ourselves) when we're angry.



Tools to Tame a Temper: Self-Awareness and Self-Control


Because anger can be powerful, managing it is sometimes challenging. It takes plenty of self-awareness and self-control to manage angry feelings. And these skills take time to develop.

Self-awareness is the ability to notice what you're feeling and thinking, and why. Little kids aren't very aware of what they feel, they just act it out in their behavior. That's why you see them having tantrums when they're mad. But teens have the mental ability to be self-aware. When you get angry, take a moment to notice what you're feeling and thinking.

Self-control is all about thinking before you act. It puts some precious seconds or minutes between feeling a strong emotion and taking an action you'll regret.

Together, self-awareness and self-control allow you to have more choice about how to act when you're feeling an intense emotion like anger.

Can you control your anger when ...

Can you control your anger when another kid is mean to your kid? Would you be able to control your anger if no one else was watching? Do you wish you could say, "Hey, saggy pants, you want to take this outside?" I wish I were an animator; I could do something funny with that.

The sounds in the background are a teacher leading some 5-year-olds through a class I didnt notice any bullies, though.

To see more visit http://coolmom.com


Fire Dept.Teaches Kids Anger Management

Milwaukee Fire Dept.Teaches Kids Anger Management








Milwaukee Fire Dept.Teaches Kids Anger Management


Only On 12:Firefighters on the front lines of danger.If you think they only fight flames think again.WISN 12's Patrick Paolantonio shows us a a side of the MFD you haven't seen as they head off violence in the city.


Milwaukee Fire Dept.Teaches Kids Anger Management
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