Anger itself isn't a bad thing

Anger itself isn't a bad thing


Anger Management - Control Your Anger Before it Affects Your Health


By BK Carter Platinum Quality Author


Anger itself isn't a bad thing; it's how you control your anger that makes a difference. If you find that you don't often express your anger or you blow up in episodes of rage, then chances are you could benefit from learning how to control your anger. If you don't, you could find yourself suffering from health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, stroke, chronic headaches, and insomnia.

It doesn't matter if you hold your anger in or express it frequently by raging like a maniac, you are still in danger of these health problems. Anger triggers the body's "fight or flight" mechanism which triggers the adrenal gland to produce more adrenaline. This adrenaline increases your heart rate and blood pressure. If you experience anger frequently, then your heart will start to suffer from the increased stress that you put on it.

All of these potential health problems really make sense if you think about how you really start to feel when you get angry. Your heart starts to pound and you can feel your pulse rate start to go up. If you get angry often, then this obviously can't be good for you.

If you tend to hold your anger in, then it may start to consume you. Think about a time you were extremely angry about something. If you are like me, then the situation may start to consume you. You can't sleep because you are constantly thinking about either revenge or how you would have handled the situation differently. You may be going about your day normally and then all of a sudden you are thinking about what made you angry and it starts all over again. When you do this often, you are in extreme danger of developing anxiety or depression.

People that have gone through anger management still get angry, but they have learned to control their anger and channel it the correct way, this allows them to control their anger and avoid health concerns that may arise from getting angry too often. To learn how you can help yourself with your anger, visit http://7offers.com/anger-management-help.

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Teens Anger Management - Control your anger

Teens Anger Management - Control your anger


Anger Management - 10 Top Tips to Put You Back in Control of Your Temper!

By Adrianne Morris Platinum Quality Author



Anger wells up within us whenever we perceive that we have been wronged, but how we deal with the situation will determine whether the problem escalates or is resolved. Here are 10 ways to resolve a toxic situation:

As you work through them, don't just read them but consider to what extent each one applies to you and the situations you find yourself in. Try to focus on each tip one at a time, maybe recalling the current one each time an angry situation threatens - in this way each one will become a habit!

1. Take a deep breath ... wait... take a few more...
Breathing calms the body, and by reducing the physical signs of anger, calms the mind. When something has angered you, rather than erupting spontaneously, or sending off an angry letter or email, breathe deeply and then exhale - and the exhalation should be longer and more complete then the in-breath (say, in for seven seconds and out for ten). Repeat this several times and continue until you're physically calm. Only then should you express yourself verbally. If you cannot calm down, consider what benefit you are trying to get out of the situation, and take measured, considered action which does not include ranting or sending an invective-filled or vitriolic email or letter which can only inflame and worsen the already fraught state of affairs. Consider, most importantly, what you want the ultimate outcome to be?

2. Don't deny your anger...........but consider the consequences
Anger should not be suppressed. Storing anger only builds to a more explosive eruption later. It's best to "use it and lose it" - i.e. let go of the anger, NOT lose your temper. Anger can be used appropriately or inappropriately. It is appropriate when you use it to achieve a desired outcome. It is inappropriate when the anger uses you, takes over and brings about an unconsidered and unwanted outcome. Think about poor service on an airline: don't explode at the hostess - ranting and raving will just annoy other passengers and may just get you barred from using that airline in future - rather call the senior purser and voice your complaint in a measured way and you are likely to be offered a better meal, an upgrade, or maybe even air-miles. I'm speaking from very recent personal experience, by the way!

3. Eat properly .... and drink sensibly
Healthy but not excessive eating, drinking lots of water, avoiding enjoying tea, coffee and alcohol but not in excess are all sensible responses to irrational emotion or tiredness. They may also prevent and control stress headaches. We all know people who are so much the worse for wear when alcohol kicks in - know your limits and endavour to stick to the level just before you become an aggressive and unpleasant drunk.

4. Recognise tiredness and stress
One of the most common places we recognise that we are tired and/or stressed is in a car. This is where most arguments between spouses or companions occur. The trigger may be not following the best route, heavy traffic or the poor control of another driver. The consequences of losing your temper may be an insufferable journey or, worse, an accident. You might injure someone, kill or be killed. Rather breathe deeply and wait. Above all, do not drive when tired. You might want to make a conscious decision to let the driver be in charge and be determined not to "back seat drive" or be a "prat nav"!

Tiredness and stress are equally damaging at work and at home. Rather than get embroiled in a major argument, say you are upset and walk away. Again, you're learning to recognise which buttons of yours will cause you to react angrily - once you know your triggers, you're well on the way to controlling yourself and your temper.

5. Control your environment
As anger specialist Mike Fisher* says, " Anger thrives in a toxic environment, feeding on itself. If you manage to stay calm at work or in a car, other people will be less stressed and angry, which will in turn help you to control your own anger". If need be, take time out and remove yourself from the place of the dispute temporarily. Step outside for some fresh air if at all possible or employ some other kind of diversionary tactic.

6. Anger as a justified response to wrong-doing should be proportionate
There are times and situations when it is completely appropriate to be angry, but when for example, one goes into a rant because one of your employees has dropped and smashed a glass, this is disproportionate. On the other hand, becoming apoplectic at the breakage of a valuable antique vase is by no means unjustified! However, it won't help the person responsible who will, assuredly, be feeling pretty bad with no help from you.

7. Focus on the issue rather than on the person
When we are angry it is easy to use terms like "you always get things wrong when you speak to clients", but this tends to bring about a response like "no, I don't always, just in this case, but you always say always!!" Focusing on the issue, like: " Mrs Jones was upset - do you think you could have handled her in a different way?" will produce a very different and less emotional response. Do try not to generalise if you must vent your anger.

8. Get help
If you are in a persistently stressed and angry state to the detriment of your health, wellbeing, and relationships with others, it is really sensible to seek help from a doctor, therapist or coach. Help may come in the form of advice, medication or suggestion for life-style change, but someone else is far more likely to see the bigger picture. Just taking that first step to get yourself some help, will be a positive move.

9. Join a support group
Examples would be The British Association of Anger Management or Alcoholics Anonymous, or your place of worship - one's church, mosque or synagogue. Joining a meditation, yoga or tai-chi group often provides a nurturing community for dealing with lower-level stress.

10. Take responsibility
A problem may be caused by another person, or situation, but until you recognise that the greater problem of your excessive response to a negative situation rests with you rather than with others, you are unlikely to improve the situation. As soon as you start to blame others, focus on your own errors or misconceptions that have clouded the picture, and accept responsibility. This is especially valid if your angry outburst has exacerbated the situation.

It's in your mind and in your hands!

*Recommended reading: 'Beating Anger' by Mike Fisher, director of The British Association of Anger Management

For anger management sessions on a 1:1 basis with Adrianne Morris please make contact through my website http://alplifecoach.com or call 07956 514714 for further details and a half hour "taster" session.

Visit the website to see more articles like this one on stress management, redundncy, improved relationships by Adrianne Morris, Success Coach. http://alplifecoach.com or call Adrianne for a half hour "coffee" over the phone and a chat about how she can help you significantly raise your game -
07956 514714

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Don't Look Back In Anger

Don't Look Back In Anger

Music video for the 'Don't Look Back In Anger' single featuring Patrick MacNee.

Directed by NIgel Dick





Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the Brains I had went to my head
Step outside the summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows, if it's night or day.
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock 'n Roll band
Who'll throw it all away

I'm gonna start the revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the Brains I had went to my head
Step outside cos summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
Cos you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as she's walking on by.
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late and she's walking on by
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
I heard you say

At least not today.




Don't Look Back In Anger lyrics

The benefits of doing Anger Work

The benefits of doing Anger Work

By Dr. Robert Puff


The benefits of doing Anger Work are beyond measure. Instead of following in the footsteps of dysfunctional family role models you can find the freedom to break out of those behavior patterns and become the “you” that you have always wanted to be. Instead of sabotaging your own happiness by repressing your anger (which undermines your physical and emotional health via stress-related illness, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and/or depression) or exploding in anger (which fractures relationships in your life, and causes you to be hounded by guilt), now you can be proactive about resolving your own anger. You can get mad and get over it, without all the lingering side-effects.

As with anything in life that is truly worthwhile, there is a cost. Now that you have your anger work tools, I encourage you to be brave and think about your past, as much of it as you can, and see what you find. Get out your old photo albums, talk to your old friends and family about your life, or go visit some place in your past and see what feelings arise. Getting these old feelings to surface and then dealing with them via Anger Work is comparable to clearing all the moldy, disgusting leftovers out of your emotional refrigerator. Doing this type of emotional backtracking is a very serious, though fruitful endeavor.

The price of your healing is that you will need to invest your time and energy in this project. Financial success, owning a nice home, having a good reputation in your field of work, and finding your soul mate are all worthy goals. However, it is possible to have all those and still be unhappy because of depression, anxiety, or other symptoms that come from unresolved emotional issues. Your level of emotional health is the filter through which the rest of your life experiences are perceived. I urge you to ask yourself this question: is there anything more worthy of your time and attention than your own emotional well-being?

Take a moment and think of any person who has achieved greatness, not someone who has inherited riches or won the lottery, but someone who has achieved his or her own goals. How was the person able to accomplish so much? Personal commitment, hard work, and perseverance undoubtedly played a great role. Some of you may think that success has more to do with having good luck or good genes. I encourage you to read the biographies of two or three of your favorite successful people. Read about Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, Isaac Newton, Michael Jordan, or Marie Curie and see what the important factors were in their lives. You will learn that people who are great achievers are very motivated and work hard to achieve their goals. They spent lots of time and energy developing and maintaining their skills. Achievement of any kind takes time and work. Make it your highest possible goal to heal from the abuses of your past and become fully you (the “you” you were intended to be, not the one you may have become as a result of being battered by life). To accomplish this you will need to do a lot of soul searching. Most people avoid their feelings because they lack the tools necessary to process painful and traumatic events. That is why so many people who were abused as children turn to addictive behavior. You are no longer in that predicament.

Now you know what you have to do to work out those emotions and heal. You simply have to be committed to your own health and make it happen. This entails taking time weekly, or better yet daily, to focus on your repressed feelings and heal them with Anger Work. Of course, the more you work on eliminating your emotional baggage, the quicker you will lighten your load. You will reap great rewards if you will spend the time.

For many of you, this will mean a lot of changes in you life. Usually, our lives are replete with responsibilities and activities that leave little or no time for self-reflection and Anger Work. In order to carve the time out of your schedule you may have to get good at putting together two letters of the alphabet, “N” and “O.” One of my greatest struggles as a therapist is to get people to say “no” to activities so they have time for Anger Work. If you are serious about your emotional health, then you need time to work on it. Saying “no” may not make you popular with others, but not saying “no” has consequences too. You may deceptively appear to be in good health for a while, but your body systems are slowly deteriorating.

Dr. Robert Puff is a Newport Beach psychologist and international business consultant who has given over a thousand media interviews. If you would like to read or listen to his numerous selections of how to handle fear, manage anger, reduce stress, go to http://www.doctorpuff.com.

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