Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Anger Management: A Guide for Teens
There are many reasons why you may have trouble managing your anger. The reasons are different for everybody and may be a combination of different things. Perhaps you have witnessed violence at home, in your neighborhood or at school, which can make it even harder to know when your anger is out of control. It may be hard for you to control your anger because you haven't yet learned how to deal with the emotions you feel inside. Whatever the reason, the next step is moving forward to work on ways to understand what triggers your anger and how to stay in control.
Why should I control my anger?
Even at a young age, having difficulty controlling your anger makes your body more likely to have physical problems that can occur now or later. This happens because your mind and your body are connected! These feelings can actually put stress on your body which can lead to medical problems such as:
• Heart disease
• High blood pressure
• Chronic lower back pain
• Stomach problems
Having problems with managing your anger can also increase your risk for developing mental health concerns such as:
• Depression
• Eating problems
• Substance abuse
• Drug, alcohol or other addictions
• Suicidal thoughts
Teenagers who have trouble managing their anger often have fewer friends, behave in more negative ways, and receive lower grades in school. Haven't had any of these issues yet? You are lucky. Don't wait! The time is right for you to learn how to control your anger and prevent problems in the future.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Anger Management for Youth: Stemming Aggression and Violence
Anger Management Worksheet for Teen
Books on anger management for teen or youth
Anger Management for Youth: Stemming Aggression and Violence
by Leona Eggert (2008, Solution Tree, 24.95)
Teach youth how to identify their personal anger triggers and responses; find personal motivators for change; use control strategies when anger is first triggered; express anger constructively; and deal with crisis by taking the appropriate intervention steps. Intended for groups that train youth to improve anger management, Anger Management for Youth can also be integrated into groups with a larger life-skills training or psychoeducational focus. Grades 9-12. [8.5” x 11”...150 pages]
Highly Effective Anger Management for Teens
Highly Effective Anger Management for Teens
The problems teens face are unique and challenging - every teen goes through rough spots that triggers their anger. But anger can be disruptive to everything in your life - and hence managing it is vital.
What is anger
To manage anger, you have to first understand what it is. Anger isn't wrong, or bad. But more importantly, it doesn't give you power. Anger is a defence mechanism. It lets you and others know that something is wrong - that someone is doing something that you don't like.
It is only when anger is expressed in an unhealthy way that it becomes dangerous. And anger can be addictive, especially when it gives you a "rush" of power - and it can make everyone afraid of you - further making you think that you are powerful because of anger.
But think rationally - anger is costing you a lot. It can affect your friends, your romances, your family relationships, your social standing (although sometimes it doesn't look like it), your work, and your studies. This is where anger management comes in, and by reading this, you've taken the first steps to maturity and true power.
Overcoming anger is true power
The best way to deal with anger is to acknowledge it. Know that you are angry - it is there to protect you, after all. But deal with it in a powerful, mature way. Screaming, shouting, and physical violence is childish and weak, despite how it may make you feel.
When you recognise your anger rising, the best way to manage it is to stop thinking. What do I mean by that? Your thoughts are what cause you to be angry. Whenever something happens, your mind will flash out "How dare he!" or "How can she do that to me!" Sometimes the angry thought is triggered by past memories, or worry about the future. Sometimes it is an event that makes you angry - a traffic jam, or a sporting event you lost, for example.
Your thoughts then begin to feed your anger. The anger rises and makes the thoughts even more distorted and charged, which in turn makes your anger worse.
So - cut off the anger at its source. By stopping the thoughts, you keep a clearer head - anger can make you see the situation as much worse than it actually is. When you stop the thoughts, the anger dies out soon after it (not immediately though) because it has nothing to feed it.
What are the best ways to stop your thoughts? Standard anger management practices teach you to actually replace your angry thoughts with positive thoughts. They suggest doing so by repeating a positive phrase - "Calm down", or "Take it easy", or similar. That is a great suggestion - but when you are seeing red, it might be hard to remember.
What has worked the best for me is deep breathing - and feeling it with your body. Feel the air as it goes into your nose, as it goes into your lungs. Do this for a few minutes. As your mind is feeling the air, it is "distracted" and so stops the angry thoughts, allowing your anger to die down. It is helpful to get out of the situation if you can - go for a walk, sit outside for a while.
Emotional maturity
Once you have calmed down, you have regained your power and your control. Think of a mature, assertive way to handle the situation. While each situation is different, and cannot be covered in this article, good guidelines are to express your feelings, but with respect to both yourself and the other person. There is nothing wrong or weak with telling them that they made you angry if you show respect. Only from there is it possible to work something out.
The issue of anger is more complex than can be discussed in a single article. For a more in-depth discussion, please get the free ebook (I don't even want your email) from my website. It covers all negative emotions, including free anger management: old anger, fresh anger, and the beginning of freedom from negativity altogether. The website also provides free information on overcoming barriers to personal growth.
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Highly Effective Anger Management for Teens