Model Behavior, Aggressive Behavior and Passive-Aggressive Behavior

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do not get angry so how is the strategy for parents





Anger is a natural emotion. Kids express emotions differently. Some children may become overtly aggressive. Other children may express their anger in more subtle ways. Remember that angry kids are likely using their angry displays and tantrums as a mechanism of solving dilemmas. Do not let your child use anger to control what happens in the household. It can be difficult, but strike a balance between allowing children to experience their emotions, without letting behavior get out of control.




Passive-Aggressive Behavior



Some children may have a harder time expressing emotions and bottle their anger, according to "Psychology Today" magazine expert on passive-aggressive behavior, Singe Whitson, L.S.W. Kids who use passive-aggressive behavior to display their emotions may give parents the silent treatment, smile sarcastically when they are upset and deflect or stop conversations about things they are angry about altogether with phrases like "whatever" or "everything's fine." According to Whitson, an important part of stopping this behavior is encouraging kids to get angry. But try not to overreact once a passive-aggressive kid finally does become angry. Instead, teach children the difference between assertively and respectfully standing up for themselves and letting their anger affect their behavior negatively.


Aggressive Behavior


Remember there is a difference between a young child throwing a fit and an older child acting out. Toddlers are still in the phase of learning how to control their emotions, according to "Selfhelp" magazine expert James Lehman, M.S.W. Aggressive behaviors are a problem when older children are throwing things, kicking things, yelling and generally using their anger to try to control their parents. They use anger as a scare tactic that temporarily solves their problems. But if kids with anger problems do not learn to curb their aggression, they will likely have a hard time functioning in the adult world, according to Lehman.


Model Behavior


When kids passive-aggressively respond to discipline, do not respond by blowing up, even though this is probably the reaction they want. Also, do not react by doing something passive-aggressive in return, like not offering them something you know they want, withholding affection or shutting them down in conversation. According to "Psychology Today" expert Whitson, this only ensures the problem will continue in the future.


Be Proactive

Remember always that it is the job of the parents to teach their children to deal with their problems. Parenting is supposed to prepare children for the adult world. Do not ignore the problem by using excuses like "that's just how my kid is." Kids who cannot deal with their anger without violent or abusive behaviors will likely wind up acting out violently as adults, according to "Selfhelp" expert Lehman. On the other hand, kids who cannot stand up for themselves directly may wind up smiling and nodding away their anger at the workplace, in marriage and with their own children.